why didn't you poke me back
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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