Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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