I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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