I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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