They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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