you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize