Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize