So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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