I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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