Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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