Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize