Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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