ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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