a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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