She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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