Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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