apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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