So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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