so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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