I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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