i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize