the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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