the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize