I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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