absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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