I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize