it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize