to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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