why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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