i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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