so explain again why im purple
no
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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