last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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