did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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