I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize