Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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