i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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