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You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
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