I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize