so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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