i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to have your abortion
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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