Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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