Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize