she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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