You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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