i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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