Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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