The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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