omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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