I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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