you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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